What does a label mean to us?

Something I never wanted our son mistaken for was 'naughty'.

From very early on it was clear he was a well behaved child.  He was a rule follower and, anyone who knows a young person with Autism Spectrum Disorder will know 'The Little Policeman' who lives with them. The individual who reports when rules may have been broken. Rules are important to people on the spectrum, very important because they keep things organised and when everyone is organised, then we're all okay.

When he went to school, I knew he was going to struggle to understand what people wanted. Processing language was difficult for him, following directions was difficult for him and in school, we spend much of our time listening to people and following directions. 

Was he going to be called naughty when he didn't complete a task because he'd missed everything that had just been said? Not because he was being naughty, but because he didn't have the ability to process everything, well, not yet.

Did I want my son to have a label? No, not really.

Did I want to understand why he did the things he did? Absolutely!
  

So before that label, what was it like for us?

Before his diagnosis, I was "That Mum", to the teachers.

Before his diagnosis, He was babied by that Mum.

That Mum, needed to be more firm, structured.

That Mum didn't know what she was doing......

And

That kid was terrible and naughty.

When he didn't understand which book he needed to get he was told off and had to sit in the corner.

When he struggled to write the numbers 1 - 100 in the little squares he was kept in at recess.

I was told I had a naughty child..... :(

Today his recollection of early school years is..... 

 "Mum, I was confused at times when I went into time out. I understood that I'd done something wrong, but I had no idea what I'd done wrong. I still don't."

What is a label to us?

When he was diagnosed with Aspergers,  it was almost a relief, an answer.

I remember saying to the specialists, "You can call it Fried Frogs Legs, for all I care, just tell me how to do the best I can for him."

I walked out of the specialist office that day, with exactly the same boy I'd walked in with...but now I spoke his language.

For us, a label was like a street directory, it gave us directions, information, orientation, understanding.

Better yet, we could give a copy of the street directory to the teachers and anyone else who worked with him, so they could understand him a little better too.

What a label is not to us......

For us, it's not an excuse.

If you want to do something with your life, you can, you can find a way.

If door A doesn't work, then lets find door B.

Use your strengths to support what you don't find easy to do.....isn't that what we all do? 

 
Nick Vujicic, an inspirational individual, reminds us that you can do anything if you just keep trying, picking yourself up and having another go.

We are all unique and we are all normal.....

In our home we wouldn't have it any other way.
 

What do I wish?

I wish people didn't need the label, 

             I wish people looked past the quirks, 
                                                         the difference.

All we've ever wanted is patience and understanding.....

All anyone, whoever they are wants, is patience and understanding...