He didn't like change.....So we moved the furniture.

One thing Aspies don't like is change.

It's often the topic of conversation with parents of Aspies...

Said mum to friend over coffee.....
"He loves tropical juice, but only the one in the red box. Then they discontinued it and now our life is hell because he can't have his red box of juice every day!"

For some, it's harder than others, it all depends on the individual, isn't that the same for everyone though?
I had a friend, a lovely friend and our boys went to preschool together.
Her youngest son had Autism. This family had relocated 12 times in 3 years. 12 houses, suburbs, supermarkets.......everything.
We had coffee one day and I asked her.... "how does he cope with the change?"

She thought about it for a minute and her answer was,
"Change is normal for him, if we didn't move, he'd probably wonder what was wrong."

What a piece of golden information that one was.....

They don't like change..........so make change the norm.

Our son didn't like change but we didn't have a need to move.....
                                                                           

so we moved the furniture.

We moved the furniture all the time, in various rooms. The kids were involved in the massive event. Where should we put the sofa today? Should the TV go here or there? Where should the toy box live? They began to have an opinion on which way worked best. They loved it and the best thing about it was, if we hadn't moved the furniture for awhile, he'd tell me it was....wait for it......
                                  

Time for a Change!

It was in his quality world, it fed his needs

In Choice Theory terms

• His need for fun, because it was fun. We laughed, made the cat sitting on the back of the sofa jump when we moved it, (the sofa that is).
• His need for power as he solved problems when it just wouldn't fit the way we thought and he was so involved in the decision making.
• There was love and belonging, we were doing it together.
• Then there was freedom....should we put it here, should we put it there, we can put this where we like. 

In a nutshell, change was good.

What we had done is make change normal.
This became a tool for me, something I could compare to when things were going to be a bit different than we had perhaps planned.

"Sometimes Mate, the couch is in a different place in the room, but it's still as comfortable to sit on as it was yesterday."

And today, as he asks if we should move the furniture around, I realise he is a more resilient individual for whom change is a good, positive and fun thing to experience.